After last weeks recasting of The Terminal it's nice to get out of the airports. With only eight teams remaining Nicole & Travis are the first ones to leave the castle at 11:08pm. They are on their way by plane and ferry to Svolvaer, Norway over 2000 miles north of Portugal. Once there they'll find their next clue at the ferry terminal.
As they race off to a travel agent to try and get the earliest flight into Norway I'm thinking that this is going to be a wasted effort because seriously how many flights do you think go from Portugal to Norway at midnight? I'm guessing not a heck of a lot. Jason & Amy are right behind them at 11:14 and Amy can't believe she's going to the arctic circle. What I can't believe is that they found a travel agent open at 11:30 at night in Lisbon. Both couples end up at Osiris Travel and manage to get on a flight that leaves at 8:55am so we all know what that means. For the first time this season all teams are on the same flight and going from Lisbon, Portugal to Bodo, Norway.
Once in Bodo teams make their way to the ferry terminal to catch the ferry to a place that Ally (I think) can't pronounce, Svolvaer. Welcome to the land of the midnight sun everyone. It's funny to hear the IceQueens complaining that their cold and their hands are frozen and they've never been anywhere where the sun never sets. It could have been worse, they could have arrived during the time when it never rises. Everyone's on the same three hour tour to Gilligan's Island, I mean Svolvaer, and while on the dock the Beardos grab some fishing line and have safety pins for hooks and figure maybe than can get some flounder. These guys must be psychic.
While on the ferry Pinky mentions who's not getting the second Express Pass. The Afghanimals are jerks so they're out, the IceQueens are out because they like the Afghanimals, the ERDocs are possible because that would be nice but a challenge. If she hangs on to it long enough she'll forget she hasn't given it away by the end of the fifth leg and it'll be bye bye Pinky. No real loss there because she's kind of annoying, even to me. Aside from that everyone seems to enjoy their own reenactment of the Titanic scenes while on board the ferry until they arrive at the terminal in Svolvaer at 11:05pm.
Mad dash to the clue box beneath the arctic sun and everyone gets the next clue to this leg's Detour: Hang Your Heads or Hammer of the Cods. Seriously? In Hang You Heads teams get to string together 6 bundles of 10 fish heads each, load them into a wheelbarrow and transport them to marked drying logs in order to get their next clue, . . . in Hammer of the Cods teams must collect 15 pairs of cods from 30 foot high dying racks and then pound them with a giant wooden hammer to make 1 kilo (a little over 2 pounds) of fish jerky. Personally I'd go with the first one as it seems a lot easier.
The first six teams all decide to Hang their heads but the Oklahomans and the Bunnies choose to Hammer some cod. While everyone tries to locate a taxi at midnight in Svolvaer, Pinky & Brain find one first and no one has noticed them missing. When the teams are told it's a kilometer away the Beardos decide they don't need no stinkin' taxi and start jogging off to their next destination while everyone else stands around. Come on people, it's not that far, really.
Pinky gets to the Detour first and she & Tim start suiting up. Once properly attired they run into the fish building and Pinky comments how disgusting the place is. Tim asks her how many they need and she's looking at the clue and says they need 6 strings with 8 each. Excuse me? She's looking right at the clue and yet she can't read it. Refer to Rule Number One. They watch the guy showing them how it's done and then they start doing the same.
Back in the center of Svolvaer the rest of the teams are still wandering about wasting time while looking for a cab. Eventually some of them start walking when the Afghanimals are passed by the Daters in a cab. That fires them up a little but the rest are still waiting around. Did they all forget that they're in a race? Maybe. That midnight sun can be a little disorienting. The Beardos on the other hand have arrived on foot at the Detour, suited up, and are right into the task. Pinky tries to motivate Brain by telling him that the Beardos are "going to be good at this because they eat gross stuff and do gross stuff all the time." Yeah, that's motivating, . . . for Brandon & Adam.
While some f the teams appeared to have decided to walk to the Detour, Travis & Nicole were still standing around in the center of town waiting for a cab. Eventually they find one and they're off, leaving behind the Oklahomans and Bunnies, but then Tim & Danny get a cab and it's just the Bunnies in the back. Hop, bunnies, hop.
With most teams hanging their heads, Tim & Danny are hoping that the hammer task is easier and they can catch up for all that wasted time. While the teams are stringing heads somebody asked how many and Pinky said 8, but then Amy corrected her by saying 10. Why Amy wanted to correct her is anyone's guess, maybe she just likes to be right, or maybe she wanted to help the other teams rather than Pinky but the end result is that Pinky now knows she needs 2 more heads on each of her strings. Amy then goes over and shows her alliance, the ERDocs, how it's done so they can move quickly through the task. Should of just done that in the first place and not been so quick on correcting Pinky.
Leo manages to tie his fingers into the stack somehow. Way to go Leo. Ally & Ashley feel bad about the little baby fish head and toss it back in the pile to impale a huge head in its place. Finally, here come the Bunnies, who have decided to go the hammer route. Tim and Danny have arrived at the stacks and reveal that working for an oilfield service company they're used to working hard, but they still wish they had a wheelbarrow.
Speaking of which, Pinky is yelling at Brain to put the fish in the wheelbarrow and quit wasting time and off they go to find the drying racks. She's running off ahead and he's pushing the wheelbarrow and you just know he wants to run her down with all those fish. Okay, maybe not, but I probably would. Back in the room Amy is being all complimentary on how Jason is her "little fisherman" and how everything he does is sexy and I'm wondering if she actually did any of this task herself yet. They're right behind Pinky & Brain and right behind them are the Beardos.
Back at the 30 foot drying rack Tim keeps climbing up to the top to gather fish then back down to drape them around Danny's neck, who's starting to look like a mobile drying rack. The Bunnies are right there beside them, while everyone else is loading up their wheelbarrows and searching for the other drying racks for the heads. The Afghanimals made the mistake of grabbing a wheelbarrow with a flat tire and that's not gonna help as it slows them down and takes both of them just to get it moving. They try carrying it but that's not any better.
Eventually everyone is at the racks and Pinky reads "only one team per pole" and as per usual tries directing other teams to what they should be doing but apparently she missed something. The Oklahomans have their 15 pairs of cod and start walking to the hammer room, leaving the bunnies still loading up. As Pinky hollers for a check from the fish foreman he goes through the motions but then tells her "sorry." When the Beardos arrive they notice the marked pole immediately and start loading up their fish to dry. Jason & Amy complete the task, which ticks off Pinky, and they get the next clue first.
All teams will eventually take a high speed ride to the fishing village of Henningsvaer to get their next clue, but for now it's just the Daters leaving Pinky to fume in the midnight sun. When Brandon & Adam also get done before her she starts waving the Express Pass in exchange for help but the boys know how manipulative she is and just tell her they don't need her damn Express Pass. Pinky & Brain ask for another check but they're still wrong. As they boys run off I love how they make fun her "help me, help me, I've got an Express Pass." Maybe she should just use it and be done with it.
As Jason & Amy pass the ERDocs on their way to the poles she tells them to make sure and use the marked poles. I hope all this good karma doesn't come back and bite her later. Pinky keeps inspecting Tim's work on the stringing like it's all his fault until she finally notices the marked pole. D'uh. It's in the clue. They take all the fish off and move them to a marked pole while Travis & Nicole have theirs checked and get the clue and finally Pinky gets her clue. As they run back down the hill she passes the Afghanimals and IceQueens and for some reason needs to make a comment. Does this woman ever shut up?
The Oklahomans finally get their fish to the hammer station and . . . it's Hammertime. One guy holds the fish while the other guy hammers then they peel off the meat for the jerky. This does not look like a quick and easy task but by now they're kinda committed. Unfortunately, so are the Bunnies who realize how many bugs dead fish tend to attract. All the other teams manage to complete the drying rack task and are heading back to the docks to get on the speedboats for Henningsvaer.
The Daters and Beardos are off, beards in the wind as Adam says, and they're all admiring the trip to the next clue which leads them to this leg's Roadblock. This Roadblock requires one member of the team to take a leap off of the Henningsvaer Bridge and swing on the end of an 80 foot long rope, then unclip and splash into the Arctic Ocean and swim to their next clue. While they're doing that the other member will wait for them in the boat, staying warm and dry.
With the bunnies laden down with dry dead fish over their necks one of them starts worrying about her balance and asks the other for help, she's got a pack on her back, jackets in her arms, a notebook in her mouth and starts to panic that she's lost the clue.She's sure she had it in her notebook but she can't find her notebook and she must have dropped it and . . . she mumbles around the notebook in her mouth. Ah ha! "It's in my mouth! It's in my mouth!" The cameraman must be killing himself by now.
We cut back to Brandon & Adam at the bridge and they mention how they used to jump off bridges all the time as kids so this task is nothing for either of them. One after another all the teams eventually arrive at the bridge and plunge over the side without much incident, aside from Jason who has some trouble grabbing the ball to unclip but it's temporary and even he falls in to the ocean.
The Beardos are first to get the clue leading them back to shore to choose a Ford Ranger and use that on their next challenge . . . it's actually called the Ford Challenge. We've actually gone beyond product placement and are now running an actual commercial inside the program. They have to hook their truck up to a sled loaded with a giant granite boulder and then pull the sled far enough to reveal their next clue and a satchel of viking coins which they'll need later in the race.
Pinky's belief in Tim after watching Jason struggle with the ball is less than stellar but it's not really a big surprise coming from her. She actually asks him if he's cold as he's swimming to the boat. I think he should of pulled her in. It's the arctic, of course it's cold. Nicole takes the plunge for the ERDocs while the Bunnies are still walking their fish to the hammer station. The Oklahomans are so happy to see them but tell the girls it's a hard task. That's okay, it allows them something to take their aggression out on.
The Beardos choose their truck and their backed up to the sled in no time, mentioning that they do this sort of thing a lot. These guys seem to do a lot of things. Between them and the Oklahomans I'm not sure who has the more varied background of work related jobs that have helped in their tasks. They check the example and chain up their boulder.
Because of the way the scenes are edited it looks like the Bunnies have finished their task about the same time that Danny is leaping off the bridge, which would mean that they took a lot less time doing the hammering but somehow I doubt that. Of course while Danny is swimming for his clue, Brandon & Adam have hauled their sled and retrieved their clue and satchel of coins.
The boys must now drive themselves to the Viking Longhouse for the Pit Stop for this leg of the race and the last team to check in may be eliminated. If you've already watched the episode you know how this works out. Back at the Ford Challenge Amy's not sure what to do with all these chains but fortunately Jason does so it's all good. Pinky & Brain are less fortunate as neither one of them knows what they're doing but really how hard can it be . . . there's an example right there. Interesting note, in case nobody noticed it, these are right hand drive trucks. That's pretty cool.
Marie is still yelling at Tim as he keeps saying "yes" to whatever she's mumbling on the other side of the boulder. Wonder if he has a few extra chains.
Jason and Amy get the next clue for the Viking Longhouse but it looks like they missed the satchel of coins. I didn't notice them picking it up but they may have. On the other hand Pinky & Brain grabbed the satchel of coins and left the clue behind. So off Pinky drives without a clue in the world as to where she's going. This could be a good thing for the Bunnies because they're stuck in last place and I'd hate to se them go after all the work they put in today.
As the Afghanimals and IceQueens arrive Ally notices the truck is a stick shift. Hello. This is the Amazing Race, there is going to be a stick shift in your future. Why would you not learn to use one before applying for the race? I'm giving this warning to all future race applicants . . . never mind waiting until you get chosen, learn it now. If you don't know how to drive a stick, don't apply until you do. It doesn't help that they need to back up.
When they see the Oklahomans the girls ask them for help and Tim & Danny are either so blinded by blondness or just really nice that they decide to help. It doesn't hurt that they know the Bunnies are way behind them and they can do this task pretty quickly since it's what they do at home. As everyone else gathers their clues and satchels we cut to the Bunnies back at the bridge, then over to the Beardos who hope they're heading the right way. There's not a lot of locals around at 3:00am to ask directions.
No worries though, Brandon and Adam find the Viking Longhouse, race up the hill and are welcomed by the greeter and Phil who informs them they are Team Number 1. They have also won $5000 each and Brandon says that'll help him finish the house he's been working on while Adam says he can live off $5000 for a year where he lives. But there's more . . . as Phil gives them their next clue and tells them they're still racing. The boys would have fit right in with the crowd at the Longhouse but not today as they race back down to the truck in search of their next destination.
Speaking of searching, guess who's wandering about aimlessly without a clue? That's right, there goes Pinky. As she crosses paths with the ERDocs, Nicole realizes that Pinky is lost and desperate so she makes a play for the Express Pass, but Pinky wavers on it so they start driving away. Buh-bye.
And as we cut to the "To Be Continued" screen we get the end credits song of Fish Heads by Barnes & Barnes and the reason for this reviews title. One of the top 100 videos of all time. I love that song. Used to sing it to my kids all the time. Poor kids.
Next week the teams are still racing through Norway, Marie is still stalling on the Express Pass, and a Double U-Turn is looming in somebody's future. You just know someone is going to get turned.
Gordon L Gale
Gordon L Gale is a Freelance Illustrator, a Graphic Designer, a Dad and (according to his children) an Ogre.