First test is to have drivers drive their vehicle on two steel beams, stop on the edge and then reverse. It's to see if the know where their wheels are. I'm a decent driver but I would do this one really, really slow. Andrew gets it pretty good but after 8 Seasons of CWD and his other driving show, he's not an average driver anymore.
Michael is first but his partner, Yolanda can't do this. She's got bad hips from car accidents although not accidents Michael has caused. So Andrew rides shotgun. Michael makes it to the end but his front wheels cling to the edge. As long as he reverses, he should be... but no, he forgets what the R means on the gearshift and boom, he's off. To make things worse, he continues to drive off the edge, almost ripping the back bumper off. Ouch. Headsnap. Grandma Dale is next and it's not going to be pretty. She's a terrible driver. Dale doesn't even get up the ramp. She drops off instantly. Worse than anyone expected.
Kevin starts nice by adjusting his mirrors so he can see his back wheels, but can't see his front. He barely makes it halfway before dropping. Angelina is next and while she is told not to wear heels, she gets into a shoemantic discussion about the difference between heels and wedges. No matter, Angelina can't even line the car to the ramp. Not once, not twice but more than three times, she can't even steer her car onto the ramp. "How often can this happen?" asks Andrew. Finally, she gets on but drops off a second later. But it's not a fail cause she can back away. But when she gets on again, she falls off less than a car length later. Okay, I said I be uncomfortable with challenge but I know I wouldn't be that bad. Those folks really suck.
After the commercial break and intro of the experts, Cam, Phillipe, Shymala and Tim, we get back to the mayhem. Shirley moves well but stops before the end. Her daughter Janice is freaking out but Shirley inches forward and stops at the right spot. Janice insists on leaving the car, so her nervousness doesn't ruin for task for her mom. But Shirley insists back that Janice stays and wow, the nice little old lady gets it done. No mistakes. Impressive. We're told she's been taking private driving lessons and it shows.
Calgarian Shelby gets to end with ease, but he doesn't use his mirrors to back up. So he drops a few feet from the finish. Sly asks for help from his brother-in-law but no chancy, he's not helping. Sly's got to learn on his own, says Fred. That guy is one of the most patient guys in the world cause he just sits there, doesn't yell or freak out. Sly gets up but his wheels are just hanging on the edge. At the end, Andrew allows Sly to get out and look at the wheel. However, Fred doesn't want to stay as Sly backs up. "Fred is a wise man," Andrew says. Sly only reverses a a foot before dropping in. Nice move Fred. You just saved yourself some whiplash.
After the ramp, they offer the traditional road sign test. Sometimes this can be tricky because they've used some pretty obscure roads signs. But if you got a sign with a question mark, you know it's tourism info. But Angelina thinks it means stop and think, which technically could be correct, but naw, that's just pushing it. She argues the validity of the sign. She also thinks a triangular sign for slow moving vehicle is to denote a volcano. Really. She said that. Volcano. Shelby thinks it's a yield but Kevin gets it right.
Shirley, who is being set up to be the graduate this episode (these guys usually telegraph the choice early on in the episode) gets 8 out of 10. She admits to studying after "winning" her season a couple years ago. On the other hand, Angelina and Dale get 2 out of 10, which goes to my suggestion that 30 or so years ago, Dale was exactly a person like Angelina. You can see it in their eyes. And their lipgloss.
Moving on, it's a winding dual figure 8 track which two drivers must reverse through. Shelby and Shirley shoot first (I had to alliterate that somehow). These two are the best out the worst bunch this season. Shelby starts well and finishes before Shirley. But she's having trouble with S-Turns. Andrew comes out to help but this is a bit of a cheat. Will he do the same for Sly, Kevin or any of the other not so good drivers left? So Shirley gets done without a major problem.
Dale and Michael are the next duo and Michael looks brilliant compared to Dale. But that's not hard. Dale can do an S-Turn but she nails stuff every time she does. Kevin and Angelina pair off and for some reason, they change the type of cars used. Angelina shows some of her class but sucking back some gravol and then flipping the camera the bird when they shoot it. Kevin does his S-turn well and I know he's blind in one eye but he doesn't look back as he reverses. He never does. So... well, things get hit.
Angelina drives right off the course and starts spinning her wheels. Expert Shymala explains it perfectly: "Developmentally, she doesn't seems she's at a stage where she needs to be." Her driving is so bad, they need a small crane to put her car back on the course. She wants to quit but Andrews makes her go back. He sits in to help. Makes no difference, she hits things over and over again. In a voiceover, Andrew says most of the drivers in the show have never known tragedy. When Andrew ask is she knows someone who's been hurt in a car accident, she says her niece died in an accident, her cousin was critically injured in a car accident and she, herself, drove over a cliff in a car. But she still thinks she should drive. At the end, she tells the confession camera "Fuck you, I'm going to get drunk." That explains a lot right there.
Because of the odd number of drivers, Sly is on his own but he has trouble with left or right. It took him 97 minutes to complete the course it took Shelby and even Shirley several minutes to get done. Sly and Angelina have some other issues going on, cognitive, developmental and otherwise, I'm sure of that. Sly even believes that by saying "There's something missing in my brain."
When they come back, as Andrew likes to say, it's shoulder check time. This challenge has drivers hit a straightaway at 70 Kph. Once they pass a couple of towers on the left and right, they must shoulder check. One of the towers will be green, the other red. Whatever side the green is on, is the lane you must change into before crashing into a barrier of boxes. It's faster than these guys normal go but they should have plenty of time to see the towers. Andrew does it with ease, showing there's plenty of time to look, decipher and then make the change. You don't have to be an expert like him.
But these are Canada's Worst Drivers Ever (ackkk, please stop saying it in that annoying tone Andrew. Please.). "Say your prayers," Angelina mutters before she starts and no wonder. She hits 90 K, checks the towers and sees where she has to go. But instead of doing that, she shuts her eyes and crashes through the barrier. "Whoa" the experts say simultaneously as they watch the footage. Whoa is right; this woman is a menace. Even after crashing through the barrier she has no idea what happened. No matter what Andrew says or does, she doesn't get it.
But they get another attempt so we get to see if Angelina can do better . She keeps it slower, shoulder checks but hits the barrier on the way through. Again, she argues semantics about whether she made it or not. Kevin takes on the challenge and remember, he's blind in one eye so shoulder checking is tough for him. He sees the green but he looks down and hits a piece of the barrier as he tries the turn. Even blind in one eye, he's leagues ahead of Angelina on this. On his second run, his partner watches the speed and Kevin does better but still fails. "Less carnage than last year," says Andrew, which I guess is a compliment.
Our host is confident Shelby can do it and he does. No mistakes. This guy is so much better than he was in his season. He's sure to graduate in this or the next couple of episodes. Sly practices some shoulder checks before he starts and they thrown in whooshing SFX when he does one. Kind of funny but only for a bit.The funny bit that he doesn't even make it down the straightaway. Angelina could at least keep the car straight. On his second try, Sly practices. Andrew also ask Sly to finish this sentence: "Sly like the _____". "Wind," Sly says, proud of himself. But Fred laughs. Andrew responds, "Never has the wind been so foxy, Sly." Best line of the whole show so far.
Sly drives straight but doesn't see the tower, looks again but it's too late. Crashola. "Does that count as a pass." No Sly, you foxy wind, it does not. Shirley takes her turn and like Shelby, she makes it. Andrew gets a hug and Shirley will for sure graduate this episode. As Michael sets up, his partner, Yolanda says "Don't kill me." Nice vote of confidence. But it's really good although he only hits 60. Yolanda swears like a drunken sailor about the attempt. Not a very good confidence boost after he did pretty good. And he does a lot better and passes the challenge.
Dale is the final driver and she does it all pretty good. Exceeeept, she goes the wrong way. Second try she turns the right way and clips the edge of the barrier. She denies making a wrong turn even though the video shows she did.
At the assessment, the experts discuss how Angelina came unglued at each challenge. The experts want to help so they show her the footage. She talks about her anxiety and how she can no longer get Xanax because her doctor retired. She wishes she could talk to a psychiatrist but there's a waiting list back home. Shymala offers her help, saying she's booking sessions for the drivers to help. "Holy, I'll talk to you, can you prescribe some meds?" Angelina asks. Nope, no meds. So not sure if they are going to talk.
Sly is odd in the way he understands that he should not graduate; if you don't pass test, you shouldn't graduate. There are times when he gets things but not when he's behind the wheel. Dale and Kevin are just like Sly: don't graduate me. Michael, Shelby and Shirley think or hope they should graduate. Especially Shirley. Wisely, Andrew states "I don't think we should create drama where none exists. We all know what's going to happen so let's make it happen." Wish other reality shows would follow this maxim, including this one. I really hate it when they try to create drama out of nothing.
Next week, mayhem continues with a huge limo reverse and one of the best challenges, the water tank test. Although Shelby looked good in this episode, it doesn't look good for him in the next. That's a lot of water falling.