Having arrived as Team #1 on the second leg the NFLers are first outta the gate to start the third leg, leaving the Pit Stop at 6:27pm. They get their clue and find that they're off to Lisbon, Portugal where they must make their way to Martim Moniz Square and ride a tram to the top of the hill to get their next clue. This of course means the usual mad dash to the airport where more than likely everyone is going to cluster together scrambling for flights, right? Right.
It's interesting here that Chester & Ephraim note that usually when they travel they have people who book everything and they just show up. I'm pretty sure that's not gonna work for them here as they head off in the dark to a travel agency to book their flight. They are followed closely by the Afghanimals at 6:39pm who have made a few mistakes in both of the last two legs and, as much fun as they seem to be having, had better put a stop to those or their race time is going to be shorter than they'd like. The Beardos are off next at 6:58 followed by the ERDocs who depart at 7:11
It's around this time that Chester & Ephraim arrive at the Cocha Travel Agency to get their flight organized. The agent manages to get them a flight that should arrive in Lisbon at 7:00am and she tells them that the flight is already full so they figure that great for them, not so much for the other teams.
The Afghanimals make the decision to skip the travel agency and head straight to the Santiago Airport to book their flight. In some countries this works great as it removes an entire leg of travel between points but in some countries you can only get a flight through a travel agency. Fortunately, Chile is not one of those countries and this decision could give the boys a step up. They manage to book a flight via London that will get them in to Lisbon at 11:00am.
The Beardos arrive at the travel agent and meet up with the NFLers, followed directly by the ERDocs who are a lot more experienced with booking flights and are given a flight that will arrive via Sao Paolo in Lisbon at 7:00am. Hang on a second, thinks Chester, we were the last seats on that flight. Apparently not, Chester.
Remember that comment about choosing the right teammate? That extends to choosing the right travel agent as well and in this case the NFLers chose the wrong agent, unless of course they wanted to arrive a day after everyone else. That's a pretty huge mistake right at the start of a leg, but this one had nothing really to do with the NFLers and hopefully it's an easy fix.
Cut to Jason & Amy departing at 7:25 (to break some tension at the travel agency). They get into their cab and off they, go mentioning how the mistakes they've made so far have been things outside their control like their bad luck with cabs. That luck hasn't changed Amy. Their cab driver was apparently more interested in what they were typing into his GPS than what was in front of him on the road and CRASH!!! he runs in to the guy in front. It's not that bad, just a little dent, and they're moving again but as Amy says, "that's the kind of luck we have with cab drivers."
Back at the travel agency the NFLers discover the screw up their agent made which allowed Travis & Nicole to get on the earlier flight. She had inadvertently booked them to come in a day later, but she's able to fix it and they're now on a flight via Sao Paolo to arrive in Lisbon at 12:00pm (noon). The Beardos get on the same flight and so far it looks like there's a nice stacking of arrivals coming in for lunch. Except of course for the ERDocs who have a five hour lead on everyone and can stop for a leisurely breakfast. If they do, someone should smack them.
There's a big gap on team departures between the 5th and 6th team as the Oklahomans (Tim & Danny) depart at 12:25am, Ally & Ashley depart at 12:27am, Tim & Marie are off at 12:33am and lastly Nicky & Kim at 1:00am. However, like I said earlier, they're all going to end up hanging around the Santiago airport to see who gets on which flight. Every team wants to be on the earliest flight, but that's not always the best choice. On the other hand, nobody wants to be on a flight by themselves because you have no idea where you are in the order and that leads to fear, . . . and fear leads to mistakes.
While the Afghanimals are flirting with the Cocha travel agent at the airport she mentions that she has a call for Chester. He's probably thinking that Leo or Jamal are pulling a prank on him, I would too, but the call is from their previous agent who has been feeling really bad about screwing up and has been trying to find them a better option. She managed to find a series of flights that gets them into Lisbon at 7:00am, the same time as the ERDocs, but it has two connections. Adding a second connection adds a lot of risks, but they figure that the chance of being five hours ahead of the rest of the pack is worth it so they take the flight. Third down and three yards to go, I guess.
When Ally & Ashley finally arrive at the airport they meet up with Leo & Jamal who give them the info on flights, they then decide they want to share that info with the Oklahomans so they're not directly competing with their "Race Wives." Did the boys forget that this is a race and eventually they're not going to have a choice? Maybe, but then again, if you have to ally with another team you may as well pick one that you feel you can beat . . . and it doesn't hurt if you pick one that's pretty.
The Oklahomans are a little wary of this deal but they decide to go for it and as they arrange their tickets, . . . lo and behold, here comes Pinky. Her paranoia, matched with her threat/treat about having the Express Pass makes her fairly annoying to the other teams. It could be the way the producers have decided to edit her scenes but I don't think so. She's pretty "in your face" about everything and I fully understand why she and Tim are exes. She might be fun to have as a friend but I sure as hell wouldn't want to be married to her. Apparently neither would Tim.
Now that the Oklahomans have made Pinky mad they start to question their newfound alliance with the Afghanimals, and rightly so. Tim (I thinks it's Tim, could be Danny, hopefully I figure it out before they go home) has figured out that by joining their little group the Afghanimals are competing against them instead of the IceQueens. Jamal knows the boys are gonna crack and they do. Danny & Tim decide to book their own flight and if they get to a U-Turn first they intend to U-Turn the Afghanimals.
Meanwhile, back at Cocha Travel, Nicky and Kim get the same agent that Chester & Ephraim had but by now she's in the loop and has figured out what's going on with all these crazy Americans. The girls get a flight via Sao Paolo arriving in Lisbon at Noon. The Oklahomans find a flight via Madrid that has them in at 10:00am and they're pretty pumped about that. The NFLers get on their first leg (of three) to Lisbon, leaving everyone behind at the Santiago airport and they're looking forward to arriving in Portugal at 7:00am. Good luck with that boys.
That travel agent back at Cocha has been pretty busy trying to correct her mistakes and she calls the airport again to tell the Beardos that she's managed an earlier flight for them as well. They're now on a flight that will arrive in Lisbon at 10:00am, a full two hours ahead of when they were originally scheduled to arrive. They're on the same flight as the Oklahomans.
We're more than a quarter of the way through this week's episode before everyone has even left Chile. Tim & Marie, Nicky & Kim, Travis & Nicole, and Jason & Amy are all finally on the flight to Sao Paolo, but the ERDocs are the only ones booked on the earlier connection out of Sao Paolo. This leaves the Afghanimals and the IceQueens as the last teams to depart and to arrive via London at 11:00am in Lisbon. It's a risk leaving last but sometimes that's the call you make.
Speaking of calls, Chester & Ephraim now have to make one back to their travel agent at Cocha because their connecting flight into Madrid has been delayed by four hours in Buenos Aires. Remember that this is just the second flight of three legs and in order for them to have arrived at 7:00 they had to be able to make that other connection on time. I've run through airports before trying to make a connecting flight and it's never fun. Things are not looking good for the NFLers.
With the bulk of teams now in Sao Paolo it becomes a search for an earlier connection but the teams are finding out that the gates don't even open until an hour before the flights. Nicky & Kim have been nicknamed the Bunnies by the rest of the teams (and I like it so I'm using it from now on) and they seem to have a plan as they slip away from the others. The Bunnies hop on down to the Executive Lounge and manage to get themselves first on a standby list for an earlier flight. All that time travelling with their husbands has paid off. Wayne and I will need to remember that when we race.
Chester & Ephraim have finally managed to book a flight from Buenos Aires to Sao Paolo and hope to catch up to the rest of the teams. It could happen but I'm not holding my breath for them, especially when they hear the announcement that there's been a delay. It's probably some woman who got off the plane to go and grab herself a Starbucks before the flight and is now scrambling to get back on before her husband leaves without her.
With everyone in Sao Paolo trying to get on the standby list to catch the earlier flight with the ERDocs you could see Pinky's eyes flare up. Amy seems to think that she and Jason are first on the list followed by Pinky and the Brain and then the Bunnies, but the Bunnies are already on that list. Pinky starts in saying that they couldn't have been on that list earlier because it was impossible, but guess what Pinky . . . the Bunnies are first and they're on the flight with Travis & Nicole. Now Pinky hates the Bunnies. Sorry Pinky. It's even funnier when Marie says "they pulled a stunt that I would pull. I wasn't expecting it from them." Perhaps it's time to change your expectations.
A whole day has passed (and almost half of this episode) before Chester & Ephraim arrive in Sao Paolo, hoping they can make their connecting flight here. At the same time that they're leisurely jogging through the airport, Pinky and the Brain are getting onto the plane and pretty sure they're in last place . . . having been left behind by everyone else who caught earlier flights. Damn those Bunnies.
As an NFL player I'm pretty sure you should be able to run, the game kinda depends on it, but maybe you only bother to run if you're being chased. If you figure there's no one behind you I guess you can just saunter your way to a touchdown. I hate to point out the obvious but sauntering your way to a connecting flight when they've already announced "last call" is not going to get you that touchdown. It's also not going to get you on that flight. Missed it by that much.
So now the boys are taking a flight at 3:45am to London and then another flight from there to Lisbon. At least they hope they are. Based on their luck the last few days hanging around airports they could end up in Osaka. It's been a long day.
While all this has been going on for the other teams we can finally cut across the ocean to see the ERDocs arrive in Lisbon, with Jason and Amy and the Bunnies and they're all off to grab a cab. Choose wisely or you may not make it to Martim Muniz Square. The Beardos and Oklahomans have arrived in Madrid and are waiting for their connecting flight to catch up. While the Afghanimals and IceQueens have arrived in London to do the same.
The ERDocs and the Daters (Jason & Amy) manage to catch the first tram to the top of the hill to get their next clue. A beautiful Portuguese singer hands them an oil painting as their next clue and they need to figure out that the painting directs them to find Portugal's Museo Nacional Dos Coches (The Coach Museum) to receive their next clue. It's pretty easy to figure out, just ask any local that's standing around and they'll tell you where to go. Especially if you're an American.
The first two teams are off to the museum as the Bunnies jump on the tram, ride to the top and grab their clue. Same routine, they just ask someone and off they go. At the museum teams need to find the matching coach and receive their next clue, this week's Detour. Tiles, requires teams to assemble a life size puzzle from dozens of fragile ceramic pieces into a standing image before receiving their next clue from the tile master; or Miles, which requires teams to use a giant calliper to measure the distance sailed by Magellan to his ten destinations, add up the distance and present it to the man himself (I thought he was dead) . . . if they're within 500 miles they will receive their next clue. These are both pretty simple tasks especially since I already know the distance sailed by Magellan's voyage (even though some of that was done without him) but I'd probably go with the puzzle just because I like puzzles. Nah! I'd just write down the number and hand it in, no measurement required.
Remember my title? The ERDocs and the Daters decide to work together and it's a good decision. They already know they're at the front of the pack so the pressure is off and they decide to go with Miles. They find the 8' tall callipers and wander over to Magellan and his giant map. Travis says they should take a break when they're done to look around at the view and he's right, just don't take too long since you're both still racing for first place. The guys move the calliper while the girls write down the distances and it's pretty quick working together, even when they run off the end of the world. Fortunately they remember it's round. I'd be a little concerned if they forgot that. They hand in their total and both teams receive their next clue to proceed to Clube Portugues De Tiro A Chumbo to search for their next clue. High five to Magellan.
The Bunnies decide to do Tiles as the Oklahomans and Beardos arrive in Lisbon. The Bunnies start piecing together their puzzle on the floor, which makes sense, but they have a few pieces that just don't seem to match up. No worries, they're certainly further ahead than Chester & Ephraim who have just landed in London and are casually walking along through the airport. Did these guys learn nothing over the past 24 hours? Run, dammit.
The Daters and ERDocs arrive at the Roadblock: Slings & Arrows, which gives one teammate the opportunity to don a suit of armour and use a giant ballista to hit a shield 150 feet away. When they do, a knight will retrieve their shield which has their next clue. This looks like a lot of fun despite the weight of all the padding and armour. Travis fires high on his first shot but Jason nails his first shield and the medieval crowd goes wild. Jason's all pumped that he got it on the first try but confesses there may have been a little luck involved. Their on their way to the Pit Stop at Castelo Dos Mouros, leaving the ERDocs to fire at will.
Nicky & Kim are transferring their puzzle from the board to the stand and it's funny to watch when they stand up looking for the tile master who is just off to the side but they don't see him for a second. The Bunnies hop for joy as he gives them their next clue and they're off. Meanwhile the Oklahomans and the Beardos have arrived atop the hill to grab their painting and decide to work together. That's two teams on this leg that have decided to form an alliance.
While they head off in search of the Coach Museum, Jason & Amy are in search of the Castle and Travis is still firing his ballista. He finally redeems himself, piercing the corner of the shield and they're in second place racing for the Pit Stop. A Pit Stop that the Daters seem to be having some trouble finding and they're getting no help trying to decipher the signs from their cab driver. Now there's a surprise.
Nicole & Travis are Team #1 and have won a trip for two to Costa Rica for 5 nights. That mix up in signs and their usual luck with cabbies has Jason & Amy arriving as Team #2.
The Afghanimals and IceQueens finally arrive in Lisbon and share a cab to the square and up the hill while the Beardos decide to do Tiles . . . after all, when you live in the woods what else do you have to do but puzzles. Back at the airport Pinky and the Brain have also arrived and they're pretty sure they're in last place having seen no other teams for quite awhile. They're still holding on to both Express Passes and I'd be tempted to use it around now but Pinky's a bit of a hoarder.
Guess who's still in London? Chester & Ephraim have once again chosen a flight that's been delayed. This pretty much spells the end of the NFLers. They're more than half a day behind everyone else by now and still no closer to Lisbon. It's unfortunate but unless this is a non-elimination leg these boys are going home.
The producers have spent so much time editing the scenes to follow whats been going on with all the flights that everyone's been on that the second half of the episode is pretty crammed with cuts so it's hard to tell how long anyone is taking doing a task. Some of these tasks will obviously move quicker than others. True to their previous decision it's another short term alliance as the Oklahomans decide to do the other side of the Detour and choose Miles. See what I mean about cuts? The Oklahomans are measuring away under the watchful eye of Magellan when Danny has a brainfart and wonders how Magellan got all the way across to the other side of the map . . . oh yeah, the world is round. He has another brainfart when they do the math and decide that zeros mean nothing. Wrong! It's a good thing he figured out his mistake pretty quick rather than start remeasuring . . . their second guess gets them the clue, while the Beardos finish up their puzzle and are close behind.
The Bunnies are Team #3 and have managed to climb from the back to the front. Yay Bunnies.
The Afghanimals and IceQueens both decide to do Miles and have figured out that Magellan couldn't have sailed through land but could he have used the Panama Canal? Really? Are you serious? And then they decide they're wrong because they didn't use nautical miles? Teamwork only works if your teammates remember the world is round and there was no Panama Canal when Magellan sailed the world. The IceQueens decide to switch while the Afghanimals try to figure out what they did wrong.
The Oklahomans have finished the Roadblock as the Beardos arrive to hit the shield on their first try (maybe). Tim & Danny are Team #4.
The Afghanimals have finally decided to switch and arrive at Tiles where Ally says, "yeah, don't listen to the blonde girl. Listen to me next time." She really is starting to act like his wife. While the IceQueens are transferring to the board and the Afghanimals are piecing theirs together, Pinky and the Brain arrive relieved to see another team. The Beardos arrive at the Pit Stop and are Team #5.
Ally & Ashley receive their next clue leaving Leo & Jamal to deal with Pinky. Jamal says they've been there for over two hours, trying to dissuade the Exes from the task and when Marie asks how long the girls had been there he says they were there three hours before them. Pinky's not buying it and the Afghanimals have to pick up the pace, which they do and receive their next clue.
Their attempt to have Pinky use the Express Pass could have backfired on them and it still might, but so far she and Tim are working on their puzzle rather than opting out. Pinky goes into alpha mode as she takes over the task and keeps barking at Brain to stop touching things. It doesn't help that they're trying to assemble their puzzle directly on the board right from the start, which is causing pieces to fall off and break. Tim keeps reminding her of the Express Pass but she keeps saying "No." Cut to the aside where she's explaining her strategy and says "when people are watching at home I'd like them to think that I don't think you're that terrible of a partner." So much for that thought.
Eventually they get the puzzle done and they're off to the ballista where Allyis getting readuy to fire off her first shot as the Afghanimals arrive. Ally wants to make her grandpa proud and I'm sure he is regardless but her first shot goes wide and Jamal hits the shield first. Both teams know that Pinky and the Brain are still behind them so there's a bit of time, but not much as they arrive just as the others leave. Tim hits the shield with his first shot and says "I was born in this era." Not so much Brain.
Racing up the path to the castle the Afghanimals are waiting for the IceQueens and arrive in tandem, Leo & Jamal are Team #6 and Ally & Ashley are Team #7.
Bringing up the rear here comes Pinky and the Brain and Phil says "Tim and Marie, I'm sorry to tell you that you are the last team to arrive . . . (long pause) . . . except for one." That was mean. Funny, but mean. Tim & Marie are Team #8 and Phil asks if they were scared and Marie says if she were scared she would have used the pass because she's in control of the pass. Phil says "I think you're in control of everything my friend" and she counters with "I'm in control of the whole race." Well, if that were true you'd have come in sooner. At least you didn't come in last and you still have both Express Passes. When the greeter says "Can she trade me for him?" I'm thinking he's obviously going on looks . . . that or he intends to wear that armour a lot.
As the sun sets over Lisbon we return to the airport. Remember that "except for one"? As Chester & Ephraim get off the plane and enter the airport in search of a cab they meet Phil. This is never a good sign when Phil has to come and meet you. As Ephraim says, "Uh oh, that's not good." Nope. It ain't. They are officially the last team to arrive and have been eliminated from the race. Phil thanks them for coming and mentions that they're already at an airport so it might be easy to get out of here. Did Phil miss the fact that these guys don't do well booking their flights. They could end up anywhere. As they wander back in to the airport Phil wishes them luck. They're probably gonna need it.